Steph’s Note: Today tl;dr pharmacy is getting real. Our very own Savannah Mageau is here to tell you her (Didn’t) Match Day story. Even though you may have read some of our previous posts about this topic, we’re betting Savannah’s words about her more recent experiences will very much hit home and help you in ways that we haven’t yet! Sincere thanks to Savannah for her candid and honest story as well as her advice.

If you’re reading this, you may be like the 7,000 other pharmacy students who applied for a residency position last year. You’ve got your sights set on one day, and one day only: Match Day. The moment of truth. The end all be all.

You, when you peruse the ASHP Match statistics (image)

BTW, if you’re reading this for insight on how to Match, check out this guy first.

Before I spill the tea, I’m not here to sound like a broken record by rattling off your odds of Matching this year. If you’re interested in amping up the stress, you can look at the Match statistics from previous years here, but you know and I know that you’ve put in the work. For now, it’s out of your hands, and all you can do is wait. In the meantime, I’m going to take you on a rollercoaster of a journey; it’s my story. I present to you, The One Where I Didn’t Match.

Once upon a time, I couldn’t picture myself as anything but a clinical pharmacist after pharmacy school. An outpatient heme/onc clinical pharmacist, to be specific. Board certified, with ALL the letters after my name and a trail of APPE students behind me.

Spoiler alert: It didn’t happen.

It’s December 29th, 2019, just a few days before ringing in a year NO ONE was prepared for, and the day my first residency application was due in PhORCAS. I had all December off from rotations, so my CV had been meticulously scrutinized by myself and others, and my letter of intent had been through an absurd amount of track-changed chaos. I’s were dotted, t’s were crossed. I couldn’t look at it anymore. The applications were ready, all 17 programs. Submit.

It’s out of my hands now. Yet I pointlessly pull up PhORCAS again and agonize over the size of my margins, or the font size I went with in my letter of intent (LOI). “The AUDACITY to use size 10 pt Arial, why didn’t I just go with Calibri like a normal person?”

Day 1 of my January rotation rolls around, and I feel at ease. I finally have something else to focus on, instead of agonizing over my fate. Still, I’m repeatedly refreshing my Outlook inbox like it’s a nervous tic. More often than I’d be comfortable telling my preceptor, even today.

I hate to admit that I was also neurotically checking a certain Reddit page, which I will NOT link because it was toxic for my mental health. If you know what I’m talking about, I highly, HIGHLY recommend steering clear of that anxiety-inducing page.

And here’s where it’s about to get real. So apologies, but the memes may be sparse.

A week into my rotation, I receive an email titled “Interview Decision”, or something like that. I hovered over the email with a shaky hand that felt like it was holding a 10-lb weight over it. Click.

It’s a rejection. From a pretty large, prestigious academic medical center. Well...there goes my day.

I can’t tell you how or WHY I rationalized this, but I went against every piece of advice I’d ever received. I emailed the RPD (BTW, I don’t recommend doing this). Not because I felt as if I so deserved to be selected for an interview, but to find some solace amidst my frantic state of mind. The RPD replied almost immediately with some wonderful, encouraging words (thank you, you kind, kind soul), and so I headed home from rotation with an injured pride, but a hopeful outlook.

Over the next few days and weeks, I get hit with a wall of rejections from about 12 of the 17 programs I applied to. With each “I regret to inform you”, a piece of my pride went with it.

Time out.

At this point, given this story is already sounding like your worst nightmare, I’d be willing to bet that 10/10 of you are DYING to know my stats as a pharmacy student so you can rationalize my plight. I did the whole comparison thing, too, so I’ll humor you. A, because I’m already being super candid with you, and B, I’m proud of my work as a student (and you should be too!).

My 2020 Stats, If You Were Curious

GPA: 3.7.

Involvement in extracurriculars: 2 out of 5 - I was involved in a couple organizations, but I didn’t hold leadership positions in them. I was more involved in research and education, and I didn’t really buy into all the politics and popularity contests within the school. Looking back, I don’t really regret it.

Research: 5 out of 5 - several publications, ongoing research with a world-renowned group at UNC. Posters at IDSA ID Week, ACCP, and ASHP Midyear conferences. Several ongoing projects.

Teaching experience: 4 out of 5 - participated in academic research, was a TA, developed educational resources, and piloted programs for current and aspiring professional students.

Work experience: 2 out of 5. I completed a 1-year internship with GlaxoSmithKline in clinical pharmacology, since my initial career interest was industry (stay tuned to see where I am now!). I didn’t have any experience in the hospital other than my IPPEs and APPEs, so I opted for challenging inpatient rotations (e.g., BMT, SOT) to offset this once I decided on pursuing a residency.

Community service: 3 out of 5. I volunteered for several organizations in my community. My favorite being working with the Senior Center, where I frequently visited an older lady to keep her company, check her INR, test her blood glucose, and deliver her prescriptions.

So back to the story. I wasn’t having any luck with interview offers, but being a type A control freak, I wasn’t going to accept this pattern of rejection. Not if there was still a chance to turn things around! So I started applying to random (and I mean RANDOM) PGY1 programs across the country that still had open applications. Like, I went to UNC and so 100% of the programs I applied to were in the Southeast, and 75% of those were in North Carolina. So I’m thinking, maybe this program in Pennsylvania...or Arizona...will see something different in me?

A few days go by, and I get one! An invitation for a screening phone interview. So I spend the next few days after rotation prepping for the interview. Researching the program. Learning the mission of the hospital. Jotting down questions to ask the panel. I was READY for this phone interview. It was my only shot.

A couple days after the interview, I got an email from the RPD regretting to inform me that I was not invited for an onsite interview. And just like that, I’m left with nothing. I have no prospects.

I remember this afternoon as clear as day. We’ve all had bad days, right? No. This was A DAY. This was the first time I was hit with crippling fear that I may not be a resident next year. Four years of pharmacy school to come to this? I had invested so much time. So much time and, oh yeah, MONEY. 4 figures at this point.

And what is everyone going to think when they find out I got zero interviews? It's going to be impossible to avoid it. It’s all everyone’s talking about. Not only was my career on the line, but my REPUTATION was too. At the end of the day, the hit to my ego concerned me just about, if not more, as much as securing a residency did.

So, again I brainlessly email more RPDs. I got several “the competition was very tough this year” automated replies. But there was ONE RPD (again... you kind, kind soul!) who genuinely felt for me and wanted to set up a call with me to discuss my application.

So we did. And y’all. As you may know, the content within a letter of recommendation is confidential. But this RPD cared enough to divulge to me that I had A BAD LETTER in the mix. Well, not all bad, there was just a negative comment about an isolated event that would definitely raise red flags in the minds of the review committee.

To this day, I’m still baffled. And I won’t go into details, but in that moment... I. Lost. It.

Fast forward a couple weeks and several heart-to-hearts with my preceptors and letter writers, and Match Day has arrived. Of course, with no interviews, I withdrew from Phase I of the Match, and I also deleted my Instagram. I was happy for my peers, but I couldn’t bear to be reminded of my shortcomings. My pride was shot, and I was doing everything I could to preserve the last bit of fight I had.

That last bit of fight was nothing to laugh at though. Weeks before Match Day, I was already preparing for Phase 2 with a vengeance. It’s a pretty quick turn around from Phase I. Armed with new letters of recommendation (necessary for me of course), a fresh, overly proofread letter of intent, and a dozen or so Phase 2 programs on my radar, I was ready for battle.

And the interview offers rolled in. About 7 of them. At this point, it’s March 2020 so COVID was in full swing, and everything was virtual. There were several technological kinks to work out on both ends, but when it was all said and done, I felt confident about Phase 2. I ranked all 7 programs. Let’s go.

April 8th, 2020: Phase 2 Match Day. Also my grandma’s birthday, and she was looking forward to my call with good news. No pressure right?

*Email from ASHP* Subject line: “Your 2020 Match Decision”, or something terrifying like that.

Time out.

If you made it this far, you’re probably like, “Hold up, what was your back up plan?” Well, I had none. My back up plan was faith that this was all going to work out. Because that’s what everyone says, isn’t it?

Well, they didn’t prepare me for this…

I was laying in bed that morning, not expecting this momentous email for another 2 hours. I was ready to find out where I was going to be next year. Connecticut is cold, Texas is dry, and Florida is...Florida, but I could do anything for a year, right? I mull over the potential outcomes, not even really considering any alternative other than Matching today. Like I was entitled to it or something.

Click.

“We regret to inform you that you did not match to a position this year.”

I read it over a couple times. It didn’t register at first.

I didn’t match.

I collapse.

RIP Ed Truck. His capa was detated.(image)

Defeated. The only word that can really describe how I felt. Michael Scott’s famous monologue after he lost Ed Truck works, too.

And then to add salt to the wound: the Scramble. Which wasn’t much of one. There were three programs with open positions, and they were all community-based residencies, which I ended up STILL trying to pursue, but they didn’t pan out either.

Now, I REALLY had nothing. I had diddly squat to show for after four long years of hard work and dedication. I was going to be graduating with my PharmD the following month, and I was utterly jobless.

Y’all. I’m not gonna lie. I was depressed.

But after a few days, I crawled out of my hole of self pity licking my wounds, and I slowly resumed basic ADLs. After a week, I mustered up the strength to continue studying for the NAPLEX. It was incredibly difficult to stay motivated, because I knew I wasn’t going to have the privilege to apply my clinical skills as a resident next year. But I pressed on, got regimented with my studying, and passed both the NAPLEX and MPJE the first time about a month later.

Eventually, I reluctantly began applying to jobs. Probably like 100 of them. It was like a full-time job at one point.

And one day, I serendipitously landed a pretty freakin’ awesome gig.

Now as a full-time medical writer for Merck, I work from home, and I type this while sitting here in my apartment adjacent to one of my best friends. I’ve got a full glass of wine, an adorable doggo next to me, and a normal bedtime. I absolutely love where I am in life right now. I have started paying off my loans, and I’ve even been able to travel during this pandemic. I seriously could not be happier, and that’s saying a lot after a year like 2020.

This is Waylon. With my amazing work-life balance, I rescued him a few months ago. I think he's adjusting pretty nicely, don’t you think?

Was being put through the Match WRINGER fun? Absolutely not. 10/10 would not recommend. Would I do it again to arrive where I am today? You bet. I came away with so many incredible life lessons, a revitalized respect for myself, and a story to tell. I hope that you do too, wherever you are along your journey as you read this.

Aaaaaaand scene.

If you do nothing but read this last part, I want to summarize.

Debunking Myths about the Match

The world will not collapse if you don’t Match

The initial shock and disappointment will sting. Big time. Like, I’m pretty sure I exclusively ate donut holes for 24 hours. It’ll take some time to bounce back. But you will bounce back, I promise.

This (👅 💦 ) is (👅 💦 ) Rock (👅 💦 ) Bottom (👅 💦 ). (image)

This season is a pivotal one, but it’s not the only one. It’s temporary, so don’t let the results of the Match define you. Your RESPONSE to the results is what will ultimately set the stage for your career.

Your story isn’t over yet, and you have NOT hit rock bottom. Pick yourself up and keep going. One day at a time.

The hit to your reputation is all in your head

This was honestly the hardest thing for me to get over. Not Matching sucked. But how I would be perceived by my classmates who just Matched was almost as bad of a reality, if not worse. You wanna know something though?

The friends that I did confide in were so incredibly supportive and helpful. They connected me with people they knew who went through Phase 2 and/or the Scramble. They checked in on me. Other than that, I kept to myself, and I’d be willing to bet most of my classmates had no idea I even went through the Match (until now hehe).

So my advice is, wherever you find yourself as you read this, use this time to focus on yourself, not on what other people think of you. Because people will talk. They’re going to post a screenshot of their Match results on Instagram. But in a couple months, the Match will be a distant memory for you and them.

A PharmD will get you far

OK so you didn’t Match for a residency, but you’re still graduating with your PHARMD. That’s something to be proud of, even if you feel like it’s worthless without a PGY1 to back it up. Couldn’t be further from the truth. A wise man (Brandon) once said:

You with a PharmD vs you with a PharmD and a PGY1. How often do you think these identical twins who married identical twins mix each other up? (image)

“When ‘everyone’ does residency, a PGY1 becomes equivalent to a PharmD today. Everyone has the same credentials. What separates you from everyone else?”

And what’s a PharmD without a license to practice? Study for the NAPLEX. Study for the MPJE. Get your license. Then a multitude of will doors open for you.

And before I close this segment of vulnerability corner…

I realize that didn’t come away from this with a Match success story, but I learned a heck of a lot about what NOT to do as a residency candidate in the process. So if you’re looking to enter Phase 2 or you’re an aspiring residency candidate who hopes to not have an experience like mine, listen up!

What NOT to Do during the Pharmacy Match Process

Don’t assume your letter writers will write you a glowingly positive letter

I can’t stress this enough. I made a rash decision to ask someone for a letter out of fear that one of my original letter writers wouldn’t submit in time (side bar, don’t stress about this because they can submit their letters even after you’ve submitted via PhORCAS). That bad apple letter was attached to several of my applications, because never in a million years would I fathom that someone would agree to write me a LOR if they weren’t going to write a glowing review.

So, here’s my advice to you. When you’re soliciting letters of recommendation from your preceptor, boss, professor, or whoever, it would BEHOOVE you to explicitly ask them if they are willing to highly recommend you for residency. They should be honest if they have reservations about you as a residency candidate, but they may also have a different interpretation of a recommendation than what you have in mind.

FYI, there’s a wide range of recommendations available to letter writers, from do not recommend to recommend with reservations to recommend to highly recommend. Those categories can mean different things to different people (as even recommends with reservations is still a recommendation), so if you only want highly recommends, you may have to adjust your letter strategy.

While we’re on this topic, if you find yourself in Phase 2 of the Match, it’s a good idea to reach out to your letter writers. Mine even offered to spruce up the letters they wrote me, and it did wonders for my peace of mind. It was also helpful to get some encouragement and consolation while I recovered from a wounded self-confidence.

Don’t wait until the last minute

This is a no brainer, but you’d be surprised how quickly the time melts between Match Day and when Phase 2 applications close. This is a little aggressive, but before ASHP released the list of programs participating in Phase 2 of the Match, I made a spreadsheet of every PGY1 program, and I evaluated them based on 4-5 criteria (e.g., location, types of PGY2s offered, resident class size). When the Phase 2 list was published, I was able to quickly decide which ones I was going to apply to. You’d be surprised, there are some good programs that end up in Phase 2, so don’t limit yourself and be open!

Don’t compare yourself to your peers

Easier said than done, but while you’re in this limbo between Phases, avoid situations where you’ll be tempted to play the comparison game at all costs. Pro tip: delete social media from now until further notice. You’ll be glad you did, and the friends in your corner will know where to find you in the meantime.

I am 100% confident that whatever happens this year, you’re going to grow so much in the process. Appreciate the opportunity to learn more about yourself, to grow tenacious in what you’re passionate about. Before you know it, it’ll be a year later, and you’ll be able to look back on this time as a formative test of your patience, perseverance, and yes…emotional stability.

This isn’t a stress-free time for anyone. Whether you Matched or not, make sure you allocate time to things you love. Whatever you do, don’t neglect your mental health!

Wherever you are on your professional journey, all of us at tl;dr wish you the very, very best!

Don’t forget to tune in to our Instagram for everything from special offers, to clinical challenge quizzes, to links to a variety of helpful resources.

And because you asked, here’s another picture of Waylon. Sometimes he takes breaks from napping to celebrate his cousin Stryker’s 11th birthday.

The Day I Didn't Match for a Pharmacy Residency

My 2020 Stats, If You Were Curious

Debunking Myths about the Match

What NOT to Do during the Pharmacy Match Process